Sheep Count…

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW drives up in a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: “If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”

The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: “Sure. Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra high resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the shepherd and says: “You have exactly 1586 sheep.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep.” says the shepherd.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the shepherd says to the young man: “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?”

The Landlord

Just be glad you havent got a crazy landlord like this coming to collect the rent… 

Hmm.. YouTube and everybody seems to be pulling this video… Well heres the direct link!

The Landlord

Google Fight

Hmm.. Just something interesting I have discovered recently…

Need to settle an argument? Well why not ask Google?

So lets see.. What is mightier? The Pen or the Sword?

Googlefight can tell us which has the most Google hits

 

Seems the Pen is mightier!

 Try your own combinations by visiting the link.

http://googlefight.com/index.php?lang=en_GB&word1=pen&word2=sword

Crazy GPS Directions

So there has been many incidents in the news of GPS going crazy and giving directions that send drivers completely the wrong way or even stuck the wrong way into one-way roads… This council has even resorted to big signs to warn users of dangers ahead when following the GPS so blindly…

I didn’t think I will see directions as crazy as this though: 

“Swim across the Atlantic Ocean”? LOL!

Ok in all fairness, this isnt the GPS software that came with the N95 originally. It is a free application that uses the online map services such as Google Maps and Yahoo Maps. Still.. “Swim across the Atlantic Ocean”? Wherever it may be getting its data from, someone, somewhere had to have been having a laugh with that one!

It gets even better!